Christian philosopher and scientist Blaise Pascal (1623-62) wrote, “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing … ” This article proposes that prayer has its reasons. Why we pray is important, as is prayer itself. What follows are twelve reasons to pray.
1. God’s Word Calls Us to Pray
One key reason to pray is because God has commanded us to pray. If we are to be obedient to His will, then prayer must be part of our life in Him. Where does the Bible call us to prayer? Several passages are relevant:
- “Pray for those who persecute you” –Matthew 5:44 (NIV) 
- “And when you pray …” –Matthew 6:5
- “This, then, is how you should pray …” –Matthew 6:9
- “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” –Romans 12:12
- “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” –Ephesians 6:18
- “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” –Philippians 4:6
- “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” –Colossians 4:2
- “Pray continually” -1 Thessalonians 5:17
- “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone …” -1 Timothy 2:1
Prayer is an act of obedience. God calls us to pray and we must respond.
2. Jesus Prayed Regularly
Why did Jesus pray? One reason he prayed was as an example so that we could learn from him. The Gospels are full of references to the prayers of Christ, including these examples:
- “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.” –Matthew 14:23
- “Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.'” –Matthew 26:36
- “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” –Mark 1:35
- “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” –Luke 5:16
- “One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.” –Luke 6:12
- “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” –Luke 18:1
3. Prayer is How We Communicate with God
Prayer allows us to worship and praise the Lord. It also allows us to offer confession of our sins, which should lead to our genuine repentance. Moreover, prayer grants us the opportunity to present our requests to God. All of these aspects of prayer involve communication with our Creator. He is personal, cares for us, and wants to commune with us through prayer.
- ” … if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” -2 Chronicles 7:14
- Isaiah wrote, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:29-31).
- Hebrews 4:15-16 reads, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Prayer is not just about asking for God’s blessings – though we are welcome to do so – but it is about communication with the living God. Without communication, relationships fall apart. So, too, our relationship with God suffers when we do not communicate with Him.
4. Prayer Allows us to Participate in God’s Works
Does God need our help? No. He is all powerful and in control of everything in His creation. Why do we need to pray? Because prayer is the means God has ordained for some things to happen. Prayer, for instance, helps others know the love of Jesus. Prayer can clear human obstacles out of the way in order for God to work. It is not that God can’t work without our prayers, but that He has established prayer as part of His plan for accomplishing His will in this world.
5. Prayer Gives us Power Over Evil
Can physical strength help us overcome obstacles and challenges in the spiritual realm? No, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12). But in prayer even the physically weak can become strong in the spiritual realm. As such, we can call upon God to grant us power over evil.
- “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” -1 Timothy 4:8
- “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” – Matthew 26:41
6. Prayer is Always Available
This point is covered separately in another article. But, in short, another reason to pray is because prayer is always available to us. Nothing can keep us from approaching God in prayer except our own choices (Psalm 139:7; Romans 8:38-39).
7. Prayer Keeps us Humble Before God
Humility is a virtue God desires in us (Proverbs 11:2; 22:4; Micah 6:8; Ephesians 4:2; James 4:10). Prayer reminds us that we are not in control, but God is, thus keeping us from pride.
- “Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” –Matthew 18:4
8. Prayer Grants us the Privilege of Experiencing God
Through prayer we obtain an experiential basis for our faith. We do not ignore the intellect or reasons for faith, but prayer makes our experience of God real on an emotional level.
9. Answered Prayer is a Potential Witness
If our prayer is answered, it can serve as a potential witness for those who doubt.
10. Prayer Strengthens the Bonds Between Believers
Prayer not only strengthens our relationship with God, but when we pray with other believers, prayer also strengthens the bonds between fellow Christians.
11. Prayer Can Succeed Where Other Means Have Failed
Have all your options been exhausted? Prayer can succeed where other means have failed. Prayer should not be a last resort, but our first response. But there are times when sincere prayer must be offered in order to accomplish something.
12. Prayer Fulfills Emotional Needs
Do we need God through prayer? Yes! We were made to function best, emotionally, in a prayerful relationship with God. As C.S. Lewis put it, “God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other.” 
Prayer, then, has its reasons, and they are many.
 Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from the New International Version of the Bible.
 C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (Macmillan, 1952), Book II, Chapter 3, “The Shocking Alternative.”
Robert Velarde is author of Conversations with C.S. Lewis (InterVarsity Press), The Heart of Narnia (NavPress), and primary author of The Power of Family Prayer (National Day of Prayer Task Force). He studied philosophy of religion and apologetics at Denver Seminary and is pursuing graduate studies in philosophy at Southern Evangelical Seminary
The Tiny Crosses on the Pines
From my humble vantage from below
I look up and see the lofty crosses flow
In the wind, they bend and show
What we realize is a sign for us to know.
Jesus you left us with a reminder to agree
The crosses on the pines at Easter will be.
You died on a wooden cross to set us free.
Each year, they will grow and we will see.
My Dear Lord, You could have left us alone.
To live with Your Father on His throne.
But you chose a human form with bone.
For redemption from our sins we’ve sown.
I will reverently cherish those tiny statues
Heavenly Father carved them for our views.
May we bow and pray with reverence in pews.
Jesus, we thank You for those wooden hues.
Easter will be a day for us to reflect on You
Your life, sacrifice, death and resurrection too.
As those tiny crosses point the way to You.
We will worship and fill our spirits anew.
Happy Easter with love and reverence to Our
Lord in 2018 written by Arline Miller
(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller, blogger and author, with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced if known to original location for credit reference. Photos are not necessarily the exclusive property of Sipping Cups of Inspiration.
“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”
Did you know that some of the world’s most successful people – including professional athletes, actors, business-people, artists, and spiritual leaders, attribute their success to one thing, above all else?
Its called “the power of positive thinking,” and more and more regular people are harnessing this incredible force to achieve happiness, personal success and abundance in their lives.
If you want to successfully change your attitude, it is important to know that, just like a magnet, your thoughts, expectations, and beliefs attract everyone and everything that enters into your life, both positive and negative.
Does anger, worry, fear, anxiety, and/or depression lead your emotional state and thought patterns?
If so, then experiences validating these thoughts are exactly what you will attract into your life. Good thing for you, there is a very effective solution.
What is the secret to making the power of positive thinking work for me?
Meditation. In order to manifest positive experiences into your life, you must change your thoughts, which must be done from the root: the subconscious layers of your mind.
Once meditation melts all of the layers of worry, anxiety, depression, and fear clogging up your thought processes, your new-found mind-mastery, with crystal clear thinking, and positive mental attitude allows you easy manifestation of anything you want, whether it be love, good health, wealth, more friends, or success.
Scripture Excerpt from The Bible:
Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ” Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.
(c) copyright 2012-2018 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material/photos are sourced when known to original location for credit reference.
Note from blogger: Adding excerpt from a wonderful article on how not to hurry with full article available through link below.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~ Lao Tzu
Tips for a Slower-Paced Life
I can’t give you a step-by-step guide to moving slower, but here are some things to consider and perhaps adopt, if they work for your life. Some things might require you to change some major things, but they can be done over time.
- Do less. Cut back on your projects, on your task list, on how much you try to do each day. Focus not on quantity but quality. Pick 2-3 important things — or even just one important thing — and work on those first. Save smaller, routine tasks for later in the day, but give yourself time to focus. Read more.
- Have fewer meetings. Meetings are usually a big waste of time. And they eat into your day, forcing you to squeeze the things you really need to do into small windows, and making you rush. Try to have blocks of time with no interruptions, so you don’t have to rush from one meeting to another.
- Practice disconnecting. Have times when you turn off your devices and your email notifications and whatnot. Time with no phone calls, when you’re just creating, or when you’re just spending time with someone, or just reading a book, or just taking a walk, or just eating mindfully. You can even disconnect for (gasp!) an entire day, and you won’t be hurt. I promise.
- Give yourself time to get ready and get there. If you’re constantly rushing to appointments or other places you have to be, it’s because you don’t allot enough time in your schedule for preparing and for traveling. Pad your schedule to allow time for this stuff. If you think it only takes you 10 minutes to get ready for work or a date, perhaps give yourself 30-45 minutes so you don’t have to shave in a rush or put on makeup in the car. If you think you can get there in 10 minutes, perhaps give yourself 2-3 times that amount so you can go at a leisurely pace and maybe even get there early.
- Practice being comfortable with sitting, doing nothing. One thing I’ve noticed is that when people have to wait, they become impatient or uncomfortable. They want their mobile device or at least a magazine, because standing and waiting is either a waste of time or something they’re not used to doing without feeling self-conscious. Instead, try just sitting there, looking around, soaking in your surroundings. Try standing in line and just watching and listening to people around you. It takes practice, but after awhile, you’ll do it with a smile.
- Realize that if it doesn’t get done, that’s OK. There’s always tomorrow. And yes, I know that’s a frustrating attitude for some of you who don’t like laziness or procrastination or living without firm deadlines, but it’s also reality. The world likely won’t end if you don’t get that task done today. Your boss might get mad, but the company won’t collapse and the life will inevitably go on. And the things that need to get done will.
- Start to eliminate the unnecessary. When you do the important things with focus, without rush, there will be things that get pushed back, that don’t get done. And you need to ask yourself: how necessary are these things? What would happen if I stopped doing them? How can I eliminate them, delegate them, automate them?
- Practice mindfulness. Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you’re with someone, be with them fully. When you’re walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are. Read this for more, and also try The Mindfulist.
- Slowly eliminate commitments. We’re overcommitted, which is why we’re rushing around so much. I don’t just mean with work — projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their kids, and we overcommit our kids as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have classes and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we’re actually deteriorating the quality of those lives. Slowly eliminate commitments — pick 4-5 essential ones, and realize that the rest, while nice or important, just don’t fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don’t have time to stick to those commitments.
Try these things out. Life is better when unrushed. And given the fleeting nature of this life, why waste even a moment by rushing through it?
Remember the quote above: if nature can get everything done without rushing, so can you.
WHAT LIFE GLUE DO YOU USE? I was rambling through some old posts (the one that is referenced is from 2013) and it brought me to a new thought expanding from the important spiritual thought of that message to another one. What kind of life glue do you use? Do you read motivational, uplifting material to spark your inner self? Do you meditate? Do you have a great hobby which allows you to bring your talents and gifts to the surface? Do you share your experiences with others? Do you look on the sunny side of life or do you find comfort in the dark? What holds your life together? Let us examine choices in life in this time.
People ask me often, “How do you stay positive?” or “I love to read your messages, they are so upbeat.” That is my life glue, Positivity in all phases of my life. I am not sure where that positive attitude started in my life but I found out if I choose to be positive, I find myself happier and much more accepting of others. First, I had to be positive about myself and accept me. I am “positive” that I am what I am and that’s okay with me.
Being Positive about being Positive….. I found a great article to share with you on Psychology Today and you can read the entire article by clicking on the link below. I have included the 6 steps excerpt.
Source:6 Ways to Become More Positive Today | Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/201409/6-ways-become-more-positive-today
Too often the pattern of self-talk we’ve developed is negative. This internal seed of negativity causes a dark ripple that extends to all corners of our daily lives. We walk around with a dark cloud hovering close-by, and view all glasses as half-empty. Our conversations always revert to all that is wrong with the world, and we’re constantly expecting the worst.
This negative approach to life can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Concepts such as the law of attraction, “you reap what you sow,” and “birds of a feather flock together,” speak to the magnetic power of our thoughts. Many studies(link is external) confirm the correlation between positive thinking and success.
So how can we begin to brighten our view of the world, and infuse more positivity into our thought patterns? Although quite simple, these six steps can make a profound impact on your approach to life, and ultimately create a more positive outcome.
- Practice Gratitude.
One of the quickest ways to shift your focus away from negativity, judgment, and disappointment is to list the things in your life for which you are grateful. Be grateful to be gainfully employed, to sleep in a bed each night, for the sun that comes up each morning, for the waiter who greets you with a smile, for the people that love and care for you, and for a body that lets you experience life each day. Practicing gratefulness can cause almost an immediate shift in your perspective. Keeping a daily gratitude journal, even digitally(link is external), can help remind you to keep life’s blessings at the forefront of your mind. Another strategy is to have a gratitude partner—someone who can support you in your journey to positive thinking. Each day, text, email or tell each other three things for which you are grateful. Think of this person as your accountability partner for your path to healthy thinking.
- Two Steps Forward.
Initially, it might be hard to stop the negative flow of thoughts. This shift takes time. Be patient with yourself, and first just try to observe your thought patterns. See if you can catch yourself judging others, focusing on failures, complaining about work, or criticizing yourself or your body. When you observe these thoughts, take a moment to counter each negative thought with two positive observations or gratitudes. Think of it as taking two steps forward after your one step back.
- Positive Posture.
The mind and the body have an intrinsic connection—each has a profound impact on the other(link is external). If you are struggling to move your mind into a more positive perspective, try moving your body there first. Try standing up straight, shoulders back, chin held high, stretching your arms out as wide as they can go. Feel powerful. Feel positive. Carrying yourself with “positive posture” will encourage your mind to feel more positive as well.
Another way for your body to “trick” your mind into being more positive is through smiling. The simple act of smiling, even if you don’t necessarily have anything to smile about, can instantly change the way you feel internally. Whether you are sitting at your desk, driving in your car, or walking down the street, smile. You will be amazed how your mind reacts. Even better, try smiling at a co-worker or stranger you pass in the hallway or on the sidewalk. Did they smile back?
- Ditch the Crabs.
If you put a crab in a bucket, it will easily climb out. But if you put a second crab in the bucket, neither of them will escape. Once one starts to escape, the other will pull it back down into the bucket. In other words, surround yourself with positive people. It’s hard to maintain a positive perspective if you are constantly pulled down by the negativity of friends, family, or co-workers. If you get trapped in a negative conversation, gracefully try to change the subject to something more positive. However, if you are surrounded by a bucketful of negative crabs, it may be time to reevaluate your circle of friends in an effort to be surrounded by uplifting individuals.
- Do Something Kind.
It’s easy to get absorbed by our own world of misfortune and to forget about the people around us. Stepping outside of your daily routine to help someone else can provide amazing perspective and fill you with positivity. Strive to do one nice thing for someone else each day. Call a family member or friend in need of a kind word, compliment a stranger, go out of your way to help a co-worker complete a task, or join the thousands of caffeinated people “paying it forward(link is external)” in the Starbucks line.
Life is not always easy, and sometimes we get handed a bushel of lemons. However, it is our own perspective that ultimately determines if we will drudge through life puckered and sour, or skip along with a glass of sweet lemonade.
Gregory L. Jantz(link is external), PhD is the founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE(link is external) and an internationally recognized best selling author(link is external) of 28 books related to mental wellness and holistic recovery treatment.
Below the original message from 2013 has a subject to “stick” to your mind and soul. I felt it stuck with me and it might be an additional glue to hold your life together.
TODAY THE WORD is SUPERGLUE. This is such a “sticky” subject but this is what came up this morning. When I was young, there was not superglue available and we used Elmer’s glue and airplane glue, etc. Dr.Harry Wesley Coover first happened upon the super-sticky adhesive — more formally known as cyanoacrylates — by accident when he was experimenting with acrylates for use in clear plastic gun-sights during World War II. He gave up because they stuck to everything they touched. In 1951, a researcher named Fred Joyner, who was working with Dr. Coover at Eastman Kodak’s laboratory in Tennessee glued two expensive lab lenses together and they could not be separated…..SuperGlue was born by destroying an expensive piece of equipment. How many times has superglue come to the rescue in your life? How many things would have gone to the trash if it hadn’t been for the superglue. I can tell you I have even glued two of my fingers together and thought I was maimed for life, forever stuck. Fortunately, I was able to get them apart.
Now for the deeper, stickier thought……..In your life, there have been several times that you felt you were coming apart and would be in broken pieces forever. Your heart may have been shattered in a thousand pieces; your financial world fell into only mounds of pennies; your family may have been torn apart and you may have felt it impossible to put it together again. Trust me, I have felt this way and I even felt that no superglue could mend my life together. Then I got acquainted with the best SuperGlue in the universe….Our God. He started a piece at a time, carefully matching all of the fragile edges, holding it into place until the glue secured and dried (I think of the drying of all of my tears) and I had a few signs of where I had been put back together but I was useable again. It doesn’t matter how badly broken a soul is, God has the strength far superior than “Gorilla” glue and mends us in a way that we actually are chip proof with His Love and Care. Today, if you are broken, try God’s bottle of SuperLove Glue and allow God to mend all of your chips and breakage. You will be better than new; you will be on your way to rebuilding your life in a protected way.
(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material and or photos are sourced, if known, to original location.
“TIPS HIS HAT” IS STILL MAGICAL may seem a little strange but this blog message is the seemingly disappearing courtesy in our world. I have been inspired to say, “Courtesy and thank you gestures are still in existence and haven’t gone in the direction of dinosaurs.” I thank all of you for allowing me the pleasure of writing this blog and for you reading it and liking it. These are ways of thanking me as a blog author for sharing thoughts such as this one with you. Let’s look at ways to show gratitude and offer the thank you moments which grow with time in other’s memories.
I can remember several times when Ray Canada, a music promoter, would see posts of mine and respond with Tips Hat and I have smiled every time when I saw his tag line. He has shared and mentioned not only my creative works but a good friend of mine, Michael Rey, a great songwriter and many others. He takes time, valuable time, to recognize others’ efforts and it is greatly appreciated. He keeps the cowboy’s gentleman manners and makes others feel special. I have included his link below with my thanks.
I wanted to see what others do to say thank you and I found a great article on Beyond Thank You. I am including the link to the entire article and have included an excerpt here for you to get the focus of Kim’s article:
Saying Thank You in Specific Situations
Keep in mind that English has certain phrases that are more commonly used in certain situations.
If you start using these expressions appropriately, you will sound more natural in English. Here are some examples. (Are there any I missed? Let me know in the comments.)
- Thank you for coming. (used to appreciate someone’s attendance of your party, performance, or other meeting)
- Thank you for writing / calling. (used to thank someone for reaching out to you via email or on the phone)
- Thanks for checking in. (used to thank someone for following up because they they knew the other person was feeling bad, such as sick, stressed, or sad)
- Thank you for letting me know. (used to give someone good or bad news)
- Thank you for the gift. (used after receiving a present or donation)
- Thank you for the invitation / invite. (used to show appreciation for being included even if you can’t attend)
- Thank you for the kind words. (usually used after receiving a compliment)
- Thank you for the support. (used to show appreciation when someone shows you compassion when you are feeling emotional, discouraged, or upset)
- Thanks for taking the time to… (used to show appreciation for a busy person’s time)
Follow Up With Another Appreciative Phrase
Lastly, an excellent expression of gratitude will include repetition, but that doesn’t mean saying “thank you” several times in a row!
Instead, use one of these expressions to show that the other person’s action, time, or gift truly matters to you.
- You didn’t have to do this.
- You didn’t need to do that.
- You are so thoughtful / generous / sweet.
- I’m so touched.
- That means so much (to me).
- That means a lot.
- You’ve gone above and beyond.
- What would I do without you?
- That’s so nice of you.
- You’re too kind.
- You’re amazing!
Showing Deeper Appreciation
If words just don’t seem like enough to show the extent of your gratitude, these English expressions demonstrate a sincere, deep appreciation for the other person and their actions.
- I don’t even have the words to thank you.
- I appreciate this more than you will ever know.
- Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- I’m eternally grateful.
- I can’t thank you enough.
- I’ll never forget your kindness.
- I don’t think I can ever repay you.
- You have my deepest thanks / appreciation / gratitude.
- God bless you.
Responding to Thanks
If someone says thank you, be sure to say you’re welcome. It’s the right thing to do. 🙂
Blogger’s Note: In all things, say thank you and you’re welcome but going beyond the expected is the best way. I know someone who sends surprise gifts, not because it is expected but a way to bring an unexpected smile to someone’s face. Is that you I am talking about? Do you want to be that person? Today is a good day to LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by thanking God and everyone else who have given of themselves to make your live better.
I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND THE TOP OF IT TOO!
(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to original location with credit references. Photos are not exclusively the property of Sipping Cups and if known are sourced to original source.
LOVE & MARRIAGE, real or fantasy? This post means a lot to me personally as I was touched by a post from a young lady, married happily but realistically on Facebook and I wanted to address this thought about marriage. You will see her fantastic post below but first, let’s see an encouraging point found in a great article showing the facts and results from marriage failures and now more successful marriages. Maybe others have figured out what Regina who is our guest blogger writes about in her post.
We’ve been told for decades now that half of all marriages end in divorce — and that it’s only getting worse. But, as is the case with most “facts” that get repeated (and repeated and repeated), that’s not quite true. And it turns out that divorce rates are actually falling, not rising.
Here’s What The Divorce Rate Actually Means
Here is the post Regina has allowed me the honor to post and it, in itself, is a “bride’s eye view” of the truth behind the veil, wedding gown, and the hoopla of the ceremony and the life afterwards. Please join me in reading
Regina messaged me when I asked for permission to post this on my blog stating she reads a lot and all of the words are not her words but wise advice she acquired by selecting good reads. I think they resonated in her mind and ran straight to her heart. I encouraged her to write more and she is welcome on my blog anytime. Thanks Regina and you and Jimmie are blessed to share your life together.
I found an article showing 10 principles of success in marriage and thought I should add tips on making the most of your relationship. You can check out the entire article by clicking on the link:
Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/daily-living/keeping-romance-alive/ten-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage
Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:
Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
I read over all of the info in this blog and thought about my marriage and my husband. I say upfront, I am no expert at marriage and have only succeeded in marriage 1 out of 3 and thank goodness, it’s this one. I am blessed to have taken the lessons from the failures, if you want to call them failures. I like to call them stepping stones and I can assure you Regina’s words have resounded in my mind. I never look back but forward and this is my advice. Determination to make a marriage work is one of my best decisions. I made the statement when my wonderful husband Greg asked me to marry him and before I answered yes, I said I have been divorced twice and do you realize this one will be “Til Death Do Us Part”? We will be celebrating 17 years next month. We laugh each year because we have a RE-UP option and it is one way we can enjoy our union for life. LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST with someone you truly love for who they really are and not just your fantasy lover (even though they really are).
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