TODAY THE WORD is TRANQUILITY. After a combination of excitement, stressful, and emotional events in the world, we need a break from the sensitive energy. Let’s reflect on a little tranquility to erase the emotional and stressful divisiveness of our country. When you look at this picture, it has to project a feeling of tranquil surroundings and peace. We need to find a place that is tranquil and let the difficult feelings disappear.
Once tranquility is reached, peace takes over the mind and we relax. What can a period of tranquility do to enhance our lives? Take a few seconds and stare at the picture and think how if you were sitting on a deck or chair in this environment, what sounds would you hear? What layers of nature would you observe while resting and taking in the view? See, even that few seconds has already affected your breathing by slowing it down. Peaceful, tranquil surroundings are a necessity and not a luxury in our lives. We need to take the time to “smell the roses” and allow our attitudes, demeanor, and character to be as enticing as the roses.
Each of us have our methods of meditation, worship, pondering time, and other means of tranquil times. The way we relax is unique to ourselves and I find reading the scriptures, positive quotes, motivational writings, and even sitting quietly without too much thought. I wrote this thought this morning and thought I would share it with you.
Morning Thought: I was deep in prayer yesterday and it seems to me more and more people are in need of prayer. Then the realization of life became more evident. A lot of my friends and family are now in the ages when health issues become evident and in requirement of treatment and care. While this thought was going through my head and prayers going through my heart, I thought how does anyone make it through life without God’s mercy? It seems like it would be similar to jumping out of a plane without a parachute; rock climbing without a tie off (anchor), sailing without an anchor; and other means of protection and/or preventive equipment for safety. I have heard skeptics and non believers justify when it seems prayers go unanswered. What they don’t understand it is that rock of God that allows us to hold on when the plan of life is not understandable. It is that peace and comfort when we do face adversity. This morning as I was sipping my coffee, I thought of God’s love as a giant cup of warm, soothing cup of coffee or tea. That cup of coffee may not take away the seriousness of the day, all of the conflicts that may come our way, and even dealing with losses of friends and loved ones but it just seems to relax and comfort us. Today and everyday, pray for all of us, in good times and bad times, thanks and pleas, and gratitude for the blessings we receive. Thank You God for soothing our souls and get us ready for this day You have blessed us with to praise You. (Arline Miller, blogger)
I found an article containing 14 tips for Tranquility:

14 Tips for Tranquility


We all know that life can be difficult, but the recipe for peace and tranquillity is really at our fingertips.

Here’s how:

1. Dont worry about your self-image. We all have an image of ourselves, how we think we appear to others. It’s usually wrong because we just don’t know what other people think about us, and so it’s not worth worrying about. You are you, and others have to like you or not. If you have a fault, try to improve it, but don’t worry about your image.

2. Give up trying to find yourself. A lot of people say, ‘I need time to find myself, to work out who I am.’ This is one way to give yourself a neurosis because there’s nothing to find. You have your capabilities; you may be a cook or a chemist or a charity worker and nothing can take that away. Rest on that.

3. Celebrate your uniqueness. Every human being is different, unique. Nobody has quite the same take on things as you do. This is a marvellous feeling to enjoy. At the same time we have to understand that others have a different take too. It means we’re not necessarily right, and it makes us more tolerant.

4. Create an environment of peace in your life. People can be happy even though their life is hard and uncomfortable, but most of us need an environment of peace and calm. One of the important building blocks is treating others with kindness and generosity. People will generally reciprocate kindness and you have created a space of warmth and calm. There’s a big happiness dividend here for everyone.

5. Stay aware of what generosity really is. If your heart isn’t in what you give away, it isn’t actually giving. Sending old clothes to the charity shop is a good thing to do, but it’s really only getting rid of junk. Give away something useful to you.

6.   Live now! Don’t put it off until tomorrow. We don’t know what tomorrow will be like. The past is a memory – so there’s no point in living there.  The future is a hope and a dream which is pleasant to contemplate, but don’t count on it. Now is all we have.

7.  Be aware of this moment in your life. What’s happening? What are you doing? Are you enjoying? It doesn’t have to be a big moment like a graduation ceremony or winning a lottery prize. Life is mostly small moments like washing the dishes or riding the subway, or having coffee with a friend. Be there and feel alive! Life is too precious to be wasted drifting along half-awake.

8.  Go slowly. Sure, life can be fast and furious, but not all the time. Put the brakes on. Slow down. Think and feel what you’re doing. Actually live now instead of having your mind on the rush for the next thing.

9. Be sociable. You can’t attain real peace and calm by shutting yourself away. All you get is quietness. Mix with others and appreciate their uniqueness. Accept them for what they are, and use kindness as a tool to achieve a peace and calm that is rich with the lives of others.

10. Be ready to cope with change and unpredictability. Nobody knows what’s going to happen tomorrow. Life is a very uncertain business. That’s the way it is. Reality. We have to build this into our thinking, whether it’s missing the train, being let down by a friend or loss of a loved one. It’s not  personal, you haven’t been singled out. It’s just bad luck. You can have good luck too!

11. Remember that anger doesnt work as a solution to your problems.Anger related feelings are our default setting as soon as we are crossed. That’s natural. But anger is a virus that poisons us. It makes us feel bad. It’s a burden we don’t need to accept. And when did shouting get you anywhere?

12. Loosen some of your attachments. We’re attached to all sorts of things, our family, our friends, our property, our job, our investments. The pain comes when the kids don’t want to go on vacation with us any more, when our friends aren’t as helpful as they could be, when we lose our property or our job. This hurts.  Nothing is absolutely guaranteed. If we can detach ourselves a little from events around us, if we don’t hold so tight, we can be happier.

13. Face life with a spirit of acceptance. It doesn’t mean you don’t struggle to change things you can change. But some things can’t be changed like the loss of a friend or your employer going broke. We need to accept and tolerate happenings that can’t be changed, like death of a friend. If we can cultivate an attitude of acceptance and detachment, we can move on.

14. Get engaged in life in a meaningful way. So what’s meaningful? I can’t tell you that. You have to decide what is meaningful to you. But it doesn’t have to be something epoch-making or important in the community. Growing flowers or climbing mountains or doing the housework are all meaningful. But an activity isn’t meaningful if you’re doing it half-heartedly. If you believe what you’re doing is meaningful, you’re going to enjoy it.


Gil Hogg is the author of The Happy Humanist and Teaching Yourself Tranquillity. He is also a novelist. Check out his website

Now for the deeper thought……Tranquility should accompany our moments of meditation and/or devotional time. We have to separate ourselves from the crowd and allow our minds and souls to become as one with God. I am not talking about our church time, but our private time to talk to God, pray for His Grace, ask forgiveness for any wrongs, and thank Him for our blessings. Reading during this time brings issues and concerns to the forefront and we can ask for help in these things if we need help. Reading can be inspirational and can prepare us for the excitement of life. All in all, the best tranquility can be a simple room, a chair, or a spot in the grass to reflect on the goodness of life. Today, try to make a little time for tranquility and your life will look more peaceful.  (Photo courtesy of Missy Smith Haas)
Ecclesiastes 4:6
Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.
(C) COPYRIGHT 2012-2018 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved with third party material sourced to original location if known.



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Butterfly Post was originally posted in 2016 but I love them and thought I would share this wonderful display of God’s beautiful creation again. I hope you enjoy this colorful post with one of my original poems.

TODAY THE WORDS are GOD TOOK TIME WITH BUTTERFLIES.  A dear friend of mine loves butterflies and she posts pictures of butterflies almost every day on Facebook. I see them, I think they are beautiful but until this morning when she posted a composite which I have displayed on this page, I didn’t have the inspiration before. I looked at this picture longer than usual and with a lot more depth visually and then the spiritual connection became evident.  (This dear friend passed away and it seemed to fit this theme as she has transformed into her eternal body).



Let’s look at the life of a butterfly and I think you will realize (you may already know) why God took extra time in creating so many varieties, so many sizes, so many colors, and so much beauty. In the beginning of life, after the egg stage which is attached to the leaf, the caterpillar stage begins. The caterpillar (or larva) is the long, worm-like stage of the butterfly or moth. It often has an interesting pattern of stripes or patches, and it may have spine-like hairs. It is the feeding and growth stage. As it grows, it sheds its skin four or more times so as to enclose its rapidly growing body.

The chrysalis (or pupa) is the transformation stage within which the caterpillar tissues are broken down and the adult insect’s structures are formed. The chrysalis of most species is brown or green and blends into the background. Many species overwinter in this stage. The adult (or imago) is colorful butterfly or moth usually seen. It is the reproductive and mobile stage for the species. The adults undergo courtship, mating, and egg-laying. The adult butterfly or moth is also the stage that migrates or colonizes new habitats.
As we see, the butterfly goes through many stages before it gets to the magnificent display of art as shown on the left and above.

God must have wanted us to see how life can be for all of us with the journey of the butterfly. We go through so many stages and some of them are awkward and sometimes it takes long periods of time before life becomes brilliant and colorful and people begin to show “their true colors of life”. God sent us a message to be patient like his masterpiece and to be watchful, careful, understanding, and faithful to the cause and purpose of our being. When we reach our full beauty in our soul, then we fly with God like the wonderful butterfly. I wrote the following poem in memory of my sweet butterfly loving friend and added it to this post.

Do Butterflies Exist in Heaven?


I think they must be present in Glory.

Their wings all fluttering in the clouds.

They dip to earth to give us a glimpse

Of the beauty in Heaven which surrounds.


Butterfly, can you tell us your Story?

Are you an angel making your rounds?

You light close enough we want to touch

Only to see you leave our leaves and ground.


While we are living, it is for us to flurry.

We live and love, listening to the sounds

For the Butterfly ever illusive as much

As we try to capture the beauty we found.


Butterfly, did you take a flight from Glory?

One of our own has taken to the starry skies

To leave us behind to learn to smoothly glide

And while she flies beyond our earthly sight,

She looks behind and sees her Angel wings.


Now, on earth we will forever bury

Our heads in joy at the beautiful sight

Of the fragile butterfly wondering as it soars

If it be our beloved friend who now can sing

With all the Heavenly Hosts taking to flight.


Written in loving memories of our Butterfly

Teresa Hutto Hester


Until we fly together…. Arline Miller, author

2 Corinthians 5:17                

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 

(c) copyright 2012-2018 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material is sourced to original location if known.


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STILL STANDING STILL ON 9/11. Each year on September 11 (9/11) each of us in the United States take a pause and remember. We do not remember to keep hate in our hearts for those who chose to destroy so many lives and forever changed a date. This morning, I sent birthday wishes to a friend, who before 2001 celebrated this date as a fun filled day of celebration. It was forever changed to “you were born on 9/11, Oh….”. I thought about how this day dramatically the lives and I thought I would reprint my blog post from 2015. Those who sacrificed their own lives to save others will forever live in our memories with our deepest gratitude.



TODAY THE WORDS are WHEN THE WORLD STOOD STILL. We remember, and we in America, will always remember this particular day on September 11, 2001 when we had tragedy come to our shores by foreign terrorists. Seemingly, the world seemed to stop. If we ask anyone where we were on this day, we can readily tell you where we were and each of us have our “story” of 9/11. So many lives were affected by the almost three thousand lost lives both in New York and at the Pentagon as well as the flight which heroically crashed in a field to avoid more lives. In the midst of this terror, American heroes rose to be what Americans do best as they rose to sacrifice their lives to save others; some gave their lives to save others; and others gave aid while subjecting themselves to smoke and dust. Yes, America cried and we grieved as we still do fourteen years (now in 2018, we remember 17 years ago) and in that grief; we honor those who are not here with us today; some innocently killed while becoming a hero for our way of life; and those who were forever injured either physically and/or emotionally; we hail them as heroes.

American people have been accused of being selfish and greedy and anytime I hear this accusation; my mind goes to not only the days and years of this tragedy where so many have given money, time, and even their own lives to protect our country. Strangers helping Strangers; Families hugging Family members; charitable organizations not even hesitating going into Ground Zero to assist and contribute aid and supplies. For a day the world stood still; Americans were on the move as they have moved when other countries have needed help and Americans have been willing to be there even if they are mocked or rebuked. Why on earth would anyone rebuke strangers willing to help in those times when their lives depended on this unwarranted help? When their worlds have stood still; Americans with sometimes with no thanks to come MOVED to go to those in need.


For my deeper thought….. I say today, while we are remembering the day our world stood still; AMERICA MOVED. We moved in love, help, compassion, and a willingness to do what we need to stay strong. We never forget; we MOVE. We are a nation of not only survivors but thrivers. WE MAY STAND STILL while we have moments of silence today for the victims; but we will applaud the heroes and even ourselves for loving our country, coming together as a country when it counts.

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Photo courtesy of



Romans 15:1-2 ESV

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 

(C) copyright 2012- 2018 Arline Lott Miller. The material here copyrighted, use only by permission. Third party material is sourced if known to original location for credit reference.


AGREE OR DISAGREE, I HAVE TO BE ME. I am not looking for a disagreement but however, always welcome comments on all of my blog posts. This topic has been on my mind for quite a while so I thought “Monday mornings are the pits anyway so let’s get our motors running.” In this world especially in the main street media, we have become an argumentative world. If I say yes, someone is going to say no. If you say what if, all of us want to argue the obstacles, prejudices, biases, differences is on the menu each day and if I was not affected by all of this yakkety yak, I would normally laugh at the ludicracy of this environment. Let’s plunder through this thought process of how easy it is to find yourself in an unfounded argument in a second.

First, let’s look at how easy it can be to sweat the small stuff and why we shouldn’t:


Kacy Zurkus  

When you’re in a relationship, small “things” can feel like a very big deal. Breathe. Center. And don’t sweat the small stuff.

When two people are in relationship, regardless of how much they adore each other, they quibble. The bickering can range from silly to absurd, but in the midst of all other stresses in life, whether or not the cap has been returned to the toothpaste can feel like a really big deal.

Maybe it’s the way he does laundry. Maybe it’s the fact that her hair is all over the bathroom floor. The truth is, couples argue about silly things. According to Psychology Today, “Unfortunately, as most relationships mature, couples can find themselves bickering over small things.”

“There’s a system for that.”

Davida in Massachusetts said, “We can disagree on how to load the dishwasher. Not a full blown argument, but I will put a dish in and he will promptly rearrange. I laugh about it really.”

Another cause for frustration in her home, says Davida, “We have a basement with shelves for shoes. Those shelves can get crowded and sometimes it’s easier to just take shoes off and run upstairs without putting the shoes on a shelf. The kids are horrible about putting shoes away. I am guilty now and then. It doesn’t bother me as much, even though I am a neat nick. But my husband gets quite annoyed.”

The dishwasher is a bone of contention for a lot of people. Some of us have systems, the system works, and we don’t want anyone else messing with it. The same is true for grocery shopping or Target runs.

Anything’s fine (but not really).

Couples go from dating to living together, which makes the everyday decisions, like what to eat, a little for challenging. Steve from Indiana has had this conversation with his wife several times in the decades they have been together.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“I don’t care, whatever is fine.”

“Cool… so want to go get some Chinese?”

“No, I’m not in the mood for that.”


“No, I don’t want that either.”



“What would you like then?”

“I don’t care, whatever is fine.”

I felt his pain. Being completely indecisive about where to eat causes a lot of bickering among couples. While we’re talking about food, who buys it and who cooks it are also bones of contention in many relationships.

“What’s for dinner?”

Sometimes significant others are just frustrating people to deal with. There have been plenty of nights when my husband has called on his way home from work and asked “What’s for dinner?” Normally, I have a plan, but on the days I don’t, that question really drives me over the edge.

The Second Shift

I’ve learned in my conversations with friends that many couples bicker over the frustrations and responsibilities of second shift duties. When both partners work full time, that leaves a small window of time for tending to the duties on the home front. Couples who own homes and have children have their daily life stresses at work compounded by chores at home, from taking out the trash to mowing the lawn and cleaning the toilets.

The division of labor can cause some hiccups in otherwise happy relationships because the feeling that I do everything around here can be the impetus for a lot of bickering.

Whether it’s the grocery shopping or the Target runs, one person is usually the designated shopper. When combined with cooking, cleaning, and laundry, it seems as though the daily duties are never ending.

One friend said, “I could send him with a list, but I know that he will get the wrong brands. Then he’ll call me from the store and ask which one. It’s just easier if I do it myself.”

Being in an intimate relationship means intertwining lives with someone. The more time couples spend together, the more their daily habits are exposed.Alissa from California says, “We fight over sand in the bed!  My husband is a surfer and I hate it when he comes to bed after being at the beach without getting all the sand off.”

Sweating the Small Stuff

When other bigger deals—like finances or family planning—weigh heavily on someone’s mind, people more often than not start to sweat the small stuff.

Unfortunately, even the interests that bring people joy can be cause for bickering. When vacation time and budget put restraints on how much couples can do and where they can afford to go, agreeing on the type of getaway can sometimes cause more frustration than excitement. Even when money isn’t an issue, two people agreeing on where to go and what to do can be a challenge.

Vacation time is so precious that agreeing on where to go and what to do during the little time couples have to escape can cause a tussle. “We also fight over how many nights a year we sleep in tents vs. hotels,” says Alissa. “I like hotels but also like to camp, just not 30 days a year. He hates hotels and loves to camp. I sleep in a tent like 25 days a year. He sleeps in hotels like three. Totally unbalanced.”

The Root of it All

It’s that need for balance, that need to be heard, that need to feel appreciated for all that we do and bring to a relationship that needs to be honored. People can get caught up in feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by the little things when they aren’t happy or feeling fulfilled in their relationships.

Being happy as part of a couple demands making concessions and expressing appreciation for all that the other person does well. Focusing on the richness and rewards that the relationship brings to life rather than the disappointments and dissatisfactions can help couples avoid these pitfalls into displeasure.

Hopefully, when they take the time to step back and reflect, couples can enjoy a good chuckle in recognizing the sometimes very bizarre reasons why couples argue. Davida says, “After 20 years of marriage, you learn to NOT sweat the small stuff.”




Isn’t the same applicable to everything in life? Instead of the argument for where to go or what to get for dinner, we could substitute almost anything in life. Just try a little trial, replace the dinner theme with what to wear to a dinner and see how we go through such trivial decisions all the time.

To bring this to the surface, let me share a personal experience with you and how to get to the point of not sweating the small stuff and adapting to the other person’s needs without sacrificing what you wanted to accomplish for totally other reasons. Here goes:

“Prior to this weekend, my husband mentioned he wanted the greens I had made previously and had frozen the excess for another time. In his mind, he could taste those delicious greens with fresh cheesy Jalapeno cornbread. As I usually make a big pot of beef vegetable soup when I make it and it is a little time consuming, I make it on the weekend instead of during the week. He bought the ingredients for the soup and on Saturday I left to help my daughter who is taking care of her father since he is having health issues. I didn’t get home until late Saturday afternoon so not enough time to slow simmer the soup. On Sunday morning, I decided to put on the soup early and I could tell Greg wasn’t excited about the soup. I wanted the soup to simmer most of the day so I wasn’t paying a lot of attention or since I know he likes my soup a lot, I was a little confused until he made a statement that cleared the air. He talked about making that cornbread and it hit me. He thought I forgot that he wanted greens and cornbread and perhaps felt I was putting the soup in front of his “desired cravings”. Once I realized what his concerns were, I immediately took out the cooked greens that only needed thawing by inserting in a big pot and letting it come to heated status. His attitude changed and he was a happy camper when he was back on mental schedule and it was easy to see, even though I intended on warming the greens for lunch all of the time, I had not made it clear the fact I wanted the soup for Sunday night which is what we did and guess what, we had two fantastic meals….Greens and cornbread for lunch and delicious soup with the extra either frozen or kept for lunches this week. Both of us were made happy by adapting and communicating and not sweating the small stuff.

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I close this post by confessing that even though I write and communicate very well, I can be guilty of “supposing and not revealing” to others what I have on my mind. This is one of the reasons I blog. I blog to myself a lot of times and hope you are able to pull some provoking ideas which might improve your lives too. LIVE LIFE; LOVE LIFE; AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by not sweating the small stuff. It is okay to disagree with someone as long as we always remember, each of us are unique and we should be allowed to be ourselves. We were created to be different and individual thinkers. Collectively by the similarities and differences we can make this world a better place.

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(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced to the original location if known for credit references.



LET’S NOT OVERREACT; LET’S REACT is the topic for today. We, as a country, are in the process of confirming a Supreme Court Judge and it is obvious to me some people are overreacting because of their feelings about our current administration. I am a passionate person but even I can exert some restrain. I am seeing panic, hate, anger, and total non compassionate feelings about a judge who has been confirmed before and has sat on the bench for 12 years. Whether or not, you are a Democrat, Republican, Independent, Dependent (this is for our socialist wannabes), this man is due respect. This is not meant to be a political statement but a message of our country needs to calm down. It is not meant to be pro or con Trump as it is a lesson in civility which has disappeared from our society.

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I make this example for example only but it is something to ponder. This example could apply to any walk of life that a high amount of dedication has to be applied before achieving a certain status or level to even be considered for such a highly important position. Do you know what is required to be a nominee for a Supreme Court Justice?

I’ll be the Judge of That!

A judge is a person that makes sure those hearings and trials are handled fairly in regard to the laws. A judge will preside over cases that may involve civil disputes, traffic violations, and business disputes. In cases where juries are called on to make decisions regarding the outcome of the case a judge will instruct the jury on the laws that are applicable in the particular case and tell the jury how to listen to the evidence that has been presented during the case. The judge will hear the verdict made by the jury.

A typical day as a judge may consist of presiding over hearings or trials to ensure they are conducted fairly, listening to lawyer’s present cases, ruling on whether or not certain evidence is allowed in court, settling disputes between lawyers who are opposing each other in a case, directing juries, and deciding cases where a jury is not present.


Becoming a Judge

 The majority of judges begin their careers as lawyers. There are limited jurisdiction judgeships allowed in 40 states. Every state in the country provides a judicial training and education program that lasts about three weeks for every new judge. There are 25 states that require judges to take additional courses throughout their term on the bench.

There are some judges that are appointed by the government and other judges that are elected by the public.


In order to become a judge a person will first need to earn an undergraduate degree. While there is no specific requirement of bachelor’s degree to attend law school, most students choose history, business, political science, or economics.

Once completing a bachelor’s degree it will be necessary to earn a law degree. Anyone practicing law must attend a law school that has been approved by the ABA (American Bar Association). This legal education will take three years to complete.

After completing law school, a person must then pass the bar exam to become an attorney. This examination may be different from state to state. A person that has been approved to practice law in Indiana cannot practice law in Texas or any other state unless they pass the bar exam for that particular state.

It is recommended that anyone that wishes to become a judge should work as an attorney for at least a few years after completing law school



Can we look at the differences between react and overreact?

As nouns the difference between reaction and overreaction is that reaction is an action or statement in response to a stimulus or other event while overreaction is a reaction that is excessive. (Google definitions)


Maybe we can attempt to RESPOND, not REACT is a good article and especially not OVERREACT. I found an article showing us how to learn to respond and not react and I find it good information.

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Learn to Respond, Not React

‘Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
~Lao Tzu


Much of our lives is spent in reaction to others and to events around us. The problem is that these reactions might not always be the best course of action, and as a result, they can make others unhappy, make things worse for us, make the situation worse.

Why would we want to make things worse?

The truth is, we often react without thinking. It’s a gut reaction, often based on fear and insecurities, and it’s not the most rational or appropriate way to act. Responding, on the other hand, is taking the situation in, and deciding the best course of action based on values such as reason, compassion, cooperation, etc.

Let’s take a quick example:

  1. React: Your child breaks something. You immediately react by getting angry, perhaps yelling, upsetting the child and yourself, worsening your relationship, not making anything better.
  2. Respond: Your child breaks something. You notice your anger reaction, but pause, take a breath, and consider the situation. First response is to see if your child is OK — is she hurt, scared? Second, realize that the object that is broken, in the larger view, is not that important. Let it go, adjust to a world without it. Third, help her clean up, make a game of it, show her that mistakes happen and that it’s not something to dwell on. Fourth, calmly talk about how to avoid mistakes like that in the future, and give her a hug.

This choice presents itself to us all the time, whether it’s our mother nagging us, our co-worker being rude, our husband not being kind enough, and so on. There will always be external events that bother us, but if we learn to respond and not just react, we can make things better and not worse.

How to Learn to Respond

The main thing to learn is mindfulness and the pause.

Mindfulness means watching ourselves when something happens that might normally upset us or trigger some kind of emotional reaction. Pay close attention to how our minds react.

Then pause. We don’t have to act immediately, just because we have an internal reaction. We can pause, not act, breathe. We can watch this urge to act irrationally arise, then let it go away. Sometimes that takes a few seconds, other times it means we should remove ourselves politely from the situation and let ourselves cool down before we respond.


Watch the reaction go away.

Now consider what the most intelligent, compassionate response might be. What can we do that will help our relationship, teach, build a better team or partnership, make the situation better, calm everyone down, including ourselves?

At first, you might mess up. But in time, you’ll learn to watch this reaction, and you’ll get better at the pause. Don’t fret if you mess up — just resolve to be more mindful when it happens next time. Take note of what happened to trigger your reaction, and pay attention when something like that happens again.

Be mindful, pause, then consider a thoughtful, compassionate response.


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I will respond to my thoughts with this final thought. In my life I found the times when I counted to 10 mentally before reacting or even responding, my responses were more logical and not impulsive. I cannot say I don’t react to important events and/or things, but my overreactions have diminished drastically. LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST by slowing down your reaction time and if you can respond instead of react, LIVE IS THE BEST!

(C) Copyright 2012-2018 Arline Miller of Sipping Cups of Inspiration with all rights and privileges reserved. Third party material is sourced when known to original location for credit references.